love intensely

Spain. I honestly can't believe that God has given me the opportunity to go to Spain. I can't imagine what He has in store. I wonder if it will compare to my last trip. Panama was amazing. I'll never forget it, and nothing will ever match it. I shouldn't compare the two, because they are completely different. Incomparable.
I've finally gotten over the fear of not raising enough money. And I've finally gotten over the nerves of whether or not this is something I should do.
Spain is on my mind.
But there are a million other things on it as well.
I told a friend of mine, today, that it is sometimes hard to remember that I am loved. I speak those words to others constantly, but sometimes I forget that they are for me as well. I wonder how God can love a sinner like myself. I suppose that's a bit selfish, and a bit conceited. I don't sin any more than anyone else. But I hold myself up to sometimes inconceivable standards.
Today, recently, I've been dealing with this thought. Am I really lovable? Am I really worthy?
It's only when I remember that I am not worthy, that I can feel better about the situation. I am never going to be worthy. That is the beauty of grace. Grace can meet you in the most despicable situations, and still love you like you were completely pure. Grace can take the most broken individual and still approach you like you are whole. It doesn't have reservations. It doesn't care who you are...what you've done...where you've been. It just loves you.
Grace gets me through these days. It is my rock. My Jesus...His grace is immeasurable.