a prayer.

God,
thank you so freaking much for brothers and sisters. thank you for talks that go beyond casual hello and goodbye, and look at the heart. thank you for love that crosses all boundaries, and doesn't care about awkwardness or seeming-irrelevance.
i know now that you have me on this earth for a purpose. that i shouldn't feel useless or like i am accomplishing nothing, and i shouldn't wish to be with you just yet, because i am here for a reason. i know now that you are love, and that you love through me. that i am nothing important, except a vessel of your love and your goodness, and that is, perhaps, the most important thing in the world.
i want to seek you with reckless abandon. i want to love you more than i love anything else. i want to stop caring about worldly ideals, and start caring about sharing your intense desire for interaction with humanity with the world. i want to love you completely. i want to know everything there is to know about you.
don't give up on me, okay? sometimes i just lose heart...but i know that i shouldn't. thank you for the encouragement of a brother. thank you that i can take heart, for you have overcome all of the sadness and darkness that is in this world.
keep working through me. as much as i hate to acknowledge it, you really are. you really are. please don't stop because i can't live without you. you are my everything. be my everything.
help me not to lose sight of you...not to focus on "Jesus things" and stop focusing on "Jesus".
i can't tell you how thankful i am for your love and for those that love me with your everlasting love. i can't tell you how much i love you. i want to live that love. i want to be that vessel. live in me. be.

your daughter always.