Now that you're home, won't you rescue me? I've been trying so hard to be good.

I'm not so sure.
I'm not so sure that these earthly desires go away so easily. I give my life to You every day. Every single freaking day. Or at least I think I do...so, why then, do I still struggle with these silly issues...this one silly issue? Why can't You be enough for me?
I'm completely, utterly desperate for You. I want ALL of You, and nothing less.
Why is this so hard?

Can I just talk it out?

It's like this, okay? I am a college girl. I am a girl. I have this thing like ingrained in my mind that says I need a guy. And then Jesus is like, wait....no. No. You have ME. I AM. I am enough. Maybe someday in the future, you will have a guy to be there beside you...but he cannot and will not ever be ME. I AM.
So, I'm like, okay, Jesus. I completely agree. You are enough. I don't really neeeeed a guy. So, I'll just like, serve You, okay? And it'll be good.
And then, ten seconds later, I'm like....Hmm...I could marry that guy. Or that one. Or that one or that one or that one. What happened to the You being enough thing? Yeah...I don't know.
I feel like Paul, when he was like "Hey guys...I'm human. I'm striving and loving and living this out with my entire heart, but I suck because I'm human and so my inborn nature to sin keeps kicking me in the face." Well this crap keeps kicking me in the face too, Paul.
Jesus. How do I fight this? How does my life become JUST about YOU. Nothing else?
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