i can see that, God, You're moving...

It's 7 AM and I should either not be awake right now, or doing homework/various projects for work.
I'm exhausted and it's only Tuesday.
I've been reading the blogs of my friends who have made trips to foreign countries this summer and I am a bit jealous. But then I've realized that my summer here in Springfield may have been more eventful than anyone else's in the world. And that's my entire life.
I almost left my job at the center. I almost left it and moved to another position in my organization. Thank goodness my boss knows things better than I do. I mean, I volunteered to take the other position, as I knew that we needed someone experienced for it, but I could have never left my babies. And on the heels of that decision I have experienced some seriously amazing things, and witnessed some ridiculously horrible ones. And it's only been two days.
I must have a vendetta against a particular family. I have called social services on them twice. I'm not sure if I should admit that, or even be talking about it in a blog, but it kills me. I really don't at all want their family to be torn apart. Taking kids away from their parents, however horrible their parents are, is not something that makes me very happy. But the things this child has told me and the things I've witnessed are despicable. Appalling. Completely and totally wrong.
I never thought I'd be hotlining anything. I never thought I'd have the opportunity to save the life of a child or to send them into a really awful situation. I'm honestly not sure if I still want that opportunity. It's sucks being exposed to this stuff. It's like living in a hell that I never thought possible...and I'm only exposed for eight hours a day. My babies have to suffer through it every moment.
I'm seeing that things are changing though. Maybe not very quickly, and maybe not even for everyone, but this is a season of good news, at my outreach center. Kids are getting jobs, they are enrolling in high school and college and beginning GED prep. They are learning to take responsibility for themselves and I get to be a part of all of it. Oh the places they'll go when they finally embrace their power to change things for themselves for the better.
I'm so glad I'm not leaving my home. I could never replace this job and what it has done for me...and I don't ever want to leave...